Vacationing with a Toddler: a Word to the Wise

Most recently, my daughter and I took a 9 day vacation with my family to the Wisconsin Dells and to my grandparents’ home just west of Madison, Wisconsin. On this trip, Luna was the only baby/toddler (18 months old) until we arrived at my grandparents’ home for the last 3-4 days of the trip. Please note, this was yet another adventure that Luna and I would be embarking on without my husband due to work obligations/scheduling. (‘Tis the life of a resident’s wife, am I right?)

Allow me to share with you what I learned on this trip, and also a few tips and tricks for traveling with a toddler that I learned along the way!

First off, let me explain to you that in my journey of motherhood, I have absolutely fit into many of the stereotypes of a “first time mom”. For example, when we go on playdates more times than not I have enough snacks, baby wipes, diapers, and back up outfits for more children than ever humanly possible for my one child. For whatever reason, I have been formed into a person that appreciates a good schedule, routine, and way of doing things when it comes to my daughter. There are benefits to this, yes, but when it comes to going on vacation there are some things that are out of your control.

When vacationing with a toddler, embrace the fact that THERE ARE NO RULES. Everything that happens at home is great and for your kiddos benefit such as a balanced diet, no to limited screen time, and early bedtimes. However, on vacation, prepare your heart to encapsulate the title of “Chill Mom”. If you are not prepared to be “chill”, you may become very dysregulated, anxious, and disappointed that you are not able to enjoy your vacation the way you had intended. (Yikes, what a bummer that would be!)

So as I share the lessons I learned on our family vacation, let me preface by simply stating: it will be okay. I say this often, but I am going to say it again: GIVE YOURSELF GRACE. On that note, here we go! (Disclaimer: All #Amazon Links utilized within this article are Amazon Affiliate Links.)

Lesson 1: Be strategic with your compromises!

Compromises that are huge for me are: screen time, food choices, and naps/bedtime. The reason why I call these compromises is because, as a Mama, I am as stubborn as they come. Here are my tidbits about the compromises that are most important to me.

When it comes to screen time, utilize this as a TOOL for you as a parent. On our vacation, we invested in a headrest ipad holder so that my little one could watch without touching the screen. By utilizing #Disney+ and #Netflix, you can preplan movies or shows to download for when you are on the go without internet connection. If you know that you will be in the car a lot, like we were, set boundaries that screen time is for longer stretches while in the car. If your little one struggles with this concept, HIDE THE DEVICE. In your backpack, under a blanket, behind or under their seat. Screen time is a TOOL FOR PARENTS, also, I wish to go ahead and state this: THE DEVICE IS YOURS AS A PARENT. So often parents refer to iPad A as Lucie’s iPad and iPad B as John’s iPad. The reality is that even if that child utilizes that device most, it is still YOUR’S. You as the parent own the device, and therefore you as the parent also set the parameters around when, how often, and how the device is used. That being said, I want to note here: traveling can be dreadful with children that are not used to being confined in small spaces. Use the devices as tools, for your own well-being, and let go of the guilt within your own comfort levels. This was important for me on our vacation trip as we usually abide by limited to no screen time rules in our day to day lifestyle.

Let’s talk about food choices on vacation. In our house we align with the motto that, “FOOD IS FOOD.” There are no bad or good foods, and therefore all food is appropriate in moderation. This includes the vacationing foods such as chips, ice cream, cookies, you name it. If you are worried about the excess amount of sugar that your child(ren) may consume while on vacation here are 3 tips:

1. Pack healthy snacks.

2. Create a pick-up order for fresh fruits and vegetables at a local grocery store after you arrive at your location.

3. Embrace the motto: “Food is food.”

By allowing for healthy options to be available on vacation you allow for your child(ren) to have healthy choices if they start to feel sluggish with the junk food that is so easily available. By planning ahead, you also can let go of the “Mom guilt” that often comes with “unhealthy” choices on vacation. Lastly, a few days of poor eating habits will seldom create habits in your little ones’ eating habits after your family returns to reality. Give yourself grace.

Lastly, naptimes/bedtimes. As a schedule keeper, this was hard for me. Yet, I did it. I let go. Let me tell you what happened… We survived! Luna thrived in the ability to have a more relaxed schedule. We were able to stick to a pretty regulated nap schedule, which I believe helped us long-term on our 9 day vacation. By day 8, Luna was hitting her max capacity for the dysregulated schedule, however, we pushed through and she made it work! So here’s my advice: do what you feel most comfortable doing. Know this though, it will all work out in the end. If you feel you should stick to a pretty tight schedule, then do that. If you feel you should be “laid back parent of the year”, then do that. There are no right or wrong answers, therefore do not feel pressured either way.

Lesson 2: Prepare a “GO BAG.”

This is my absolute favorite tip that I can share with any parent making any sort of travel plans. This includes vacations, day trips, trips to someone’s soccer game, to see a friend, literally anything. HAVE A GO BAG.

You may be wondering, “Jordi, what is a go-bag?” A “go-bag” is a bag that your little one can call their own and have available items to play with that allow for them to stay busy. The sky's the limit with this. Whatever makes your child happy OR BUSY consistently should be in this bag. My little girl has had a “go-bag” in the car since she was able to sit up and was attempting to crawl. This is a bag that you can leave in the car and only utilize when you are out of the house.

Here is a list of items that we have had or currently have in our go-bag!

• Here is the link to the bag that our little one is currently using (and she at 18 months can now wear it on her own too!)

• Water bottle

• Snacks (go-go squeezes, snack pouches, bags of cheerios, snack cup of fruit - but do not leave fresh fruit in the car, that’s gross LOL).

• Mini books, here is the link to Luna’s favorite car book!

• Sunglasses

• Old mini-McDonald’s toy figurines

• Popper Sensory toy

• A bell

• A play phone

• A barbie doll

• Zip pouches with figurines in them

• This baby goes potty toy, (which is amazing and was gifted to us by a BRILLIANT friend as we approach potty training!)

• Bows/headbands

• Crayons, stickers, and paper to draw on.

• Seek and Find book(s), (this is Luna’s favorite!)

Lesson 3: Capsule packing for the win!

I could do an entire article on how to pack for a vacation with a toddler, but we are going to keep things simple here!

Before traveling on this trip, I purchased reusable gallon size baggies (such as these!!!) in order to pack our little one’s wardrobe. On each bag with a dry erase marker I wrote the date, the weather, and the highest degree forecast for that day. The reason why I did this is so that if the weather ever changed it was easy to choose from another day. In each bag, I packed: 1 outfit for the day, 1 extra outfit for a backup or slightly colder forecast, and pajamas with socks. I also had an additional bag filled with 2 pairs of pants, a sweatshirt, and an extra long-sleeve shirt as emergency back up considering we were traveling in Wisconsin mid-June and you never know what the weather will do!

Lesson 4: Ask for help… before it is too late.

This point is simple and to the point, but I wanted to make note of this important topic. Traveling as a solo parent, even with family, this is important. As parents we tend to know and be prepared with the tornados that our children may throw at us. However, if you are traveling with friends/family that are not as accustomed to your children’s ups and downs this is important.

Before your day begins, throughout your day, and approaching bedtime: ASK FOR HELP. Do not be shy. Verbalize what you need, before you need it. As a “helper”, I very much struggle with this point and often shy away from help as I prefer to offer help versus accept it. This was a lesson I have also had to learn about as I journey through motherhood. To that much, I am going to say this… asking for help is not easy. If you are a mother, traveling with a mother, or know a mother - OFFER THE HELP BEFORE THEY NEED IT. Even simply saying, “hey, I am here for you when you need me.” This opens the door of communication when things are escalating or already escalated. As a parent, it is difficult to acknowledge that you need extra hands, extra patience, or an extra set of eyes before it is too late. This is why this point is two- fold.

If you are a “helper” such as myself, make up for asking for help by helping in other ways after bed, during naptime, or before the baby wakes up for the day. Do whatever you need to in order to both take care of yourself, and offer your assistance while traveling with others. You will make it through!

Lesson 5: ENJOY YOURSELF!

Have fun and let go of your guilt, stress, and expectations that you hold for yourself every single day. It can be exhausting to travel with a toddler or young children, but it can be even more exhausting if we carry baggage of our day to day expectations as parents with us.

Give yourself grace and allow yourself to unravel, even just a little bit.

Until next time, Jordi.