Becoming a Doctor’s Wife: the Ultimate Transition

When we last left off, I described that God had shut the door in my face and on my pride in my latest article, (Becoming a Doctor’s Wife: A Love Story). Let’s start there. Do you recall a moment you thought you had everything planned out for your future self, but then everything fell to pieces? This is where I was, as dramatic as it sounds, this is what I felt. If you know me personally, you know that I am pretty optimistic and resilient. This moment in time (2016), built my resilience to accept change, which is why it is so important to document.

Before we were moving permanently to #Missouri we had decided to go visit in order to find a place to live and explore the area. I was eager for this trip, because if you recall in my last article, Curtis only had great things to say about this area and the school he would be attending. To start the trip off, we get 3.5 hours into our trip to our new town, and my husband tells me, “You may lose signal for a while, but that happens sometimes.” Actually, this was an understatement. We hit a deadzone for an entire hour before arriving in our new town that we would call home, and this happened every single time we traveled.

(Before we go any further I want to provide this disclaimer: The town in which we landed in Missouri was actually a beautiful place, filled with amazing people, but I was jaded to this fact for our entire first year of being placed there. That being said, I am going to be honest with MY feelings in this transition, but these were not feelings shared by all parties.)

We arrived in our new small town and we drove through the downtown area, which took all of 2 minutes. I remember looking around thinking there must be more to see, but I was wrong. We then drove through the newer part of town, which took a little longer, in order to find our hotel. (Thankfully, before making this trip I had convinced my husband to pay for a hotel that was not as cheap as he would have wanted.) After getting settled in, we looked at the #medicalschool, which was great as Curtis had said before. The next day, we examined places that we could rent and looked at multiple locations. Finally, we made a decision and signed our new lease.

That night we got pizza at a local pizza place downtown, and this pizza was the trip’s saving grace. This #pizza is what made everything else okay. We talked about our move and how God had opened all the doors we needed for our relocation, and even though it was not what we had anticipated, we would be alright in the end. Cue the waterworks.

Driving back to our hotel, I unraveled. All of my comforts felt stripped away. Our routine, our friends, our family, our church, my job, our community - all of it felt like a dream that I had to wake up from. Moving to the middle of nowhere Missouri was now my reality. I cried because I was sad, yes, but more accurately I was angry. I grew up in a smalltown and I had always imagined leaving, and my new reality was that I had only relocated! I remember falling apart and wanting to be comforted, but again feeling so angry, because there was nothing to be done to change this. This was my new normal.

We said goodbye to the life that we knew in #Illinois, and chose to spend 6 weeks living with my parents, spending time with both of our families before relocating 6+ hours away. These 6 weeks were stressful in the fact that we knew that this hiatus would eventually end, however they were perfect in the way that we got quality family time before stepping away. These weeks were filled with visiting #Indianapolis, bonfires, dog walks, trips to the park, ice cream, and family game nights. Yet, it all had to end at some point.

Both sides of our family helped us move to Missouri, as we packed up everything that we owned and drove into the sunrise driving towards the heart of the country. The moving-in part of this ultimate transition was fun. Being able to creatively imagine where all of our furniture and decorations got to go was enjoyable. This was also magnified for me as we were moving from a 500 square foot apartment to a 1300 square foot duplex; the possibilities seemed endless! I remember that entire weekend being a blast in the fact that so many people that we loved were present as we started on this journey. We felt supported, and not in the least alone.

If you have never had to move away from everyone that you know, then let me prepare you for this… After everyone leaves, you are - in fact - alone. I recall our families leaving in the morning time and watching them pull away as the sun was rising again on another day. Reflecting back on this moment, I feel this may have been one of the first moments in our first year of #marriage we felt on our own. This was new and scary terrain.

If you are able to live close to family or close friends when you are married, let alone #newlyweds, this is a blessing. At first, you may feel you need space or you need stern boundaries (which I 100% condone!), but on the flip side of things if you experience an emergency, a flat tire, lose your heat/water, you have someone to call. For us, our emergency contact list had been wiped clean.

Little did we know that we were exactly where we needed to be for God to use us, for us to find our own rhythm, and for our marriage to grow on the strong foundation that it needed to sustain us. Moving to Missouri brought a lot of heartache, and yet it brought a lot of growth. Painful, beautiful growth.

Part of the painful part of this transition, was slowing down. Moving from #Chicagoland where anything and everything felt accessible, and then moving to rural Missouri - there was an adjustment to time. Before moving, I felt that everything in life moved like clockwork and with a purpose. After transitioning to Missouri, I remember feeling as if time was standing still. No matter how much was packed into my day, time continued to feel frozen. At this point in our journey, God had shut the door on my pride, and told me to WAIT in the stillness.

More on this next time, Jordi