Becoming a Doctor's Wife: A Love Story

My husband has challenged me to do a series, "Becoming a Doctor's Wife", to document our journey thus far as a family as we support his decision to become a doctor. The reason why this topic is so important is because this journey is not simple, is not easy, and is sometimes hard for others to fully understand. A lot of times the general public views doctors' lifestyles as glamorous; however true this may be for some doctors, the journey to get there is long, tedious, and sacrificial of their family's time. So here I am to share pieces of our experiences to give a glimpse into the adventures we have both chosen and been forced to go on along the way.

(*Disclaimer: This is OUR experience and not all doctors and their families have experienced the exact same circumstances. Please keep this in mind when reading this series and comparing our experiences to your friends and family that may be on a similar path.)

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Our journey is different from the start as we have shared life together since we were both 16 and 17 years old. We started dating in high school and from the get-go knew we both wanted to go to the same college. While in high school, we would travel 40-45 minutes to see one another during the weeks, and then during my first year of college we did the "long-distance relationship" thing as we lived 3+ hours from one another. For teenagers, the travel seemed endless, but we made it work. We are frequently referred to as "High School Sweethearts," and I will not argue that point.

When we first started dating we had no idea where our careers would end up taking us. Initially I began college pursuing a degree in business marketing, but then ended up switching to a social work path (which turned into a life's passion and is the perfect fit for me - I am sure I will talk about this in later posts). Curtis, my husband, knew he wished to pursue a handful of careers, but was not sure until closer to beginning college. He had narrowed down his career paths to: something in engineering, nursing and pre-med. At our college, Olivet Nazarene University, they had open houses for each of these majors and Curtis attended all of them his senior year of high school. By the end of the long weekend, Curtis knew without a doubt that God had called him to be a #doctor.

I had NO idea what this meant, other than one day he would be a doctor, and hopefully I would be his wife.

I had never heard of the #MCAT or the process of applying to medical school, let alone applying to residency programs. I had no idea that this process would uproot our reality, shift the trajectory of our future, that we would end up living far away from family, we would have to leave our church and that I would be switching jobs frequently. Everything that we had dreamed of for our young married life was flipped upside down.

During Curtis's junior year of college he began studying for the MCAT (Medical College Acceptance Test), as the score of this test is the ticket into #medicalschool. Most of his free time was spent dedicated to preparing for this exam. After months and months of dedication, he took the exam, and waited. Weeks went by, and then he finally received his score from the MCAT. From my memory, he did alright. He was disappointed that he did not meet his goal, because as I mentioned before, this was the golden ticket! You then have 2 options: 1) you accept the score and apply for medical schools to see what is offered, or 2) you retake the exam and then medical schools may question why you had to take the test twice.

So, we began applying for medical schools. We are both from Indiana, and our top choice for medical school would be to return "home." Curtis applied to 26 medical schools and received 18 interviews. What does this mean? This means that we paid for travel expenses to 18 different locations, including plane tickets, car rentals, hotels and food. Of these 18 interviews, Curtis received 3 acceptances and 3 waitlist invites. This is how it unfolded...

We were rejected by Indiana University and we were crushed. Our hearts ached for the plans that we had set aside for ourselves. We imagined living close to family, starting our own, being near friends, and living in the city of Indianapolis that we loved through and through. Yet, GOD CLOSED THE DOOR. He does this, a lot of times for our benefit, but this was a hard reality to embrace.

Willy Wonka quotes for the win on this one...

On the other hand, we then got to see our future's possibilities. We were accepted to move to Alabama, Missouri, and Northern Chicago. Alabama would have left us miles away from our family for multiple years without the possibility of coming home often, even for holidays. Northern Chicago's acceptance came later on, and would have left us in even more debt that we currently are (which is still a lot). Then, there was Missouri.

To Curtis, Missouri was the obvious answer. He had visited in-person for his interview, and felt the school had everything that he needed. I remember him coming home from his interview and only saying glorifying things about this school, and I was excited for him. However, this was before I realized it was 3 hours away from any big city and/or airport, 1.5 hours from the nearest #Chipotle or #DunkinDonuts, and here's the kicker - 5 hours from anyone we knew.

Curtis prayed and prayed about this decision, and at last he made a hard call as the head of our household. We were going to Missouri. My reaction? I cried. A lot. I grieved the loss of my friends, my church, my job, and my comfort. GOD SHUT THE DOOR... right in my face and on my pride.

Until next time, Jordi